(SECURITY GUARD GROANING)
- Move! - Let's go! Let's go!
(SUV HORN BLARING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(HORNS HONKING)
(WOMEN SCREAMING)
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
We did it, right?
(ALL LAUGHING)
(CAR CREAKING)
Whoa! What the hell are you doing?
MAN 1: G-Girl!
MAN 2: It's G-Girl!
Gun!
Go! Get back!
Watch it! Watch it!
ALL: (CHANTING) G-Girl! G-Girl! G-Girl!
Wow. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
The ability to gratify myself orally.
Interesting.
- But wouldn't that be a little gay? - Gay?
- No. Not at all. - Yeah. Really?
- Think about it. - It seems that way.
Oh, dude, check her out. Wow.
What do we have here?
Kind of uptight librarian on the outside.
- Yeah. - Ready to rumble on the inside.
- Go ask her out. - No. I'm not ready yet.
I'm not... No, I can't.
- Oh, Matt, you're killing me. - No.
Your last insane girlfriend dumped you, like, six months ago.
I would've plowed my way through half of SoHo by now.
Yeah. That's 'cause you're soulless and shallow.
Well, it is a blessing.
Go over there. Talk to her.
- Yeah? - Do it.
Matt, say hi. Give me your bag. Come on.
- Okay. - Yes.
Fall out.
Be strong. Breathe.
VAUGHN: Eye of the tiger.
Hi. Excuse me.
I know I don't really know you, but you look like a very interesting person.
So, at the risk of totally humiliating myself,
I thought perhaps, possibly, sometime, I might maybe buy you a cup of...
No.
Doesn't have to be a cup of coffee. Could be whatever you want.
Cup of anything, cup of juice?
Hey!
- Hey! - Hey!
Hey!
Somebody stop that guy!
(BRAKES SQUEALING)
That's right!
You better run, asshole! Keep running, my man!
You don't want any of this! Keep running!
(EX CLAIMS)
Yeah!
- What did you call me? - Oh, shit.
What'd you call me?
Idiot.
(BANGING)
Come on! Get out of there!
Let's go! I know you're in there!
Get out of there! What?
(BANGING STOPS)
(YELLING)
Hey. How about it, huh?
So, how about that cup of coffee? You know?
Or it could be something more substantial.
- (LAUGHS) Like dinner? - Yeah, yeah, that'd be great.
- Matt Saunders. - Jenny Johnson.
Jenny Johnson. Wonderful name.
You got the whole alliteration thing going.
I actually grew up with a guy named Francis Freddie Friedman.
Bit of a klepto. Not the kind of guy you'd want to have over
if you had, like, spare cash laying out. Yeah. Right, right.
So, may I get your number?
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't give it out. Privacy issues.
- Of course. - But I'll take yours, though.
Okay, well, I actually don't think I have a pen.
- I do. - Thanks.
Now, now, isn't this something that women do just to blow off losers?
(CHUCKLING) Yes, women do do that.
But that's not how I blow off losers.
(LAUGHING) Okay.
(EVERYTHING'S RIGHT PLAYING)
Hey, Saunders. Heads up.
You have bad reflexes.
You know, you're a danger in the workplace.
Say, do you have the bathroom layouts for the Beijing presentation?
- Yes. - I'll take a look at those.
Finished them up last night.
Psst!
- Hey, Hannah. - Hey, Vaughn.
- Oh, looks good. - Thank you.
What about... This okay? That's not gonna be a problem, is it?
Well, you know, I know that it's a little bit tight,
but I talked to the structural engineer and he said...
How's your boyfriend? What's his name? Rick?
- Steve? - Yeah.
Yeah, he's good. He just got back from Milan.
- Look at this. - Milan.
Yes, his new Joe Boxer ad campaign.
Wow! He's buff!
Are you into that? I would think this is more your style.
- What do you think? No? - (LAUGHS) Yeah.
Okay, you give me two months in a gym and a personal trainer,
and the right steroids, I look like that or better.
- Here you go. - HANNAH: Thank you.
- What are you doing? - Huh?
Hey, Carla. Nothing,
(CLEARING THROAT) just reshelving some reference material, trying to stay ahead.
You were staring at her butt.
- He was? - No. No, I was not.
- Yes, he was. - Wasn't.
Hannah, as you know,
we have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of behavior.
I actually read that memo twice. I got it.
Well, you should be familiar with this part.
Would you like to file a grievance at this time?
Um...
I don't think so, Carla.
Because, as your supervisor,
I am officially giving you the opportunity right now.
And I thank you for that,
but I think I'm just gonna let this one slide.
That's completely your decision.
Are you willing to sign a statement to that effect?
Sure. Yes.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
You are lucky this time, Mr. Bottom Watcher.
Okay.
- Hello? - Matt? Hey.
- It's Jenny Johnson. - Hey, Jenny.
I wasn't sure I'd hear from you.
- So, are we still on for dinner? - Dinner?
Yeah, absolutely. That sounds great.
(WHISPERING) Is that a girl? A real live girl?
There's this great new Indian place on Madison that just opened up.
- 8:00? - Indian? Love it.
I'll see you tomorrow night
Okay, great. See you. Bye.
Saunders, do you have a date?
Got a date. And it's a hot one.
(SITAR MUSIC PLAYING)
So, the assistant curator job's really perfect for me.
- I was an art history major in college. - Oh, yeah?
It's the only thing I'm good at.
At least, the only thing I'm good at that I can make any money off of.
Right.
That sounded like I was talking about sex, didn't it?
No. No, it didn't.
Believe me, I didn't mean sex.
- Oh, no, no... - I mean, I am good at sex.
I'm sure you are, yeah.
- Now it sounds like I'm bragging. - No, no.
I think I'm good at sex.
I don't know. You decide.
Me?
Mmm.
But not tonight. It's a first date.
(SWALLOWS HEAVILY)
Yeah.
So, what do you do?
I'm a project manager at a design firm.
We design and build,
like, private estates, libraries, hotels. That sort of thing.
(POLICE RADIO CHATTERING)
(VOICE FADING) Yeah, right now we're working on a presentation
for an office complex...
(RADIO STATIC BUZZING)
(POLICE SIREN WAILING)
- I'm sorry, am I bothering you? - What?
No. No.
I was just trying to listen to something.
I don't... I don't hear anything.
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
- It's okay. - I have to go to the bathroom.
Sure.
(POLICE SIREN WAILING)
(FIRE TRUCK HORN BLARING)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Yo, how's it going?
Well, she's a talker. Yeah.
Doesn't matter. The only question is, are you gonna sleep with her?
That's the only question, huh?
Yes, and I'm not just talking about your date tonight.
I am talking about life in general. That is the only question.
What's going on there?
There's some big fire at 73rd and Broadway.
- Everything's burning. - Is anyone hurt?
I don't know. Probably. It's blocking my way to the gym.
All my thoughts are with you in this time of crisis, Vaughn.
(BOOMING OVERHEAD)
VAUGHN: Wow! Oh, man!
- What's going on? - It's G-Girl!
She's doing her thing.
Are you serious? You lucky SOB!
I've never even seen her in person. How's she look?
She looks...
What?
Blurry, but still pretty hot.
Yeah? What's she doing now?
She's spinning around
like one of those things that spins.
Amazing! That's unbelievable
Yeah. It's so cool.
VAUGHN: Oh!
WOMAN: G-Girl!
Yes! That's it. Show's over. She put the fire out.
Fantastic.
ALL: (CHANTING) G-Girl! G-Girl! G-Girl!
Okay. And she's gone.
Flew off into the sunset. Amazing.
Unbelievable
Hey, why do you think they call her G-Girl?
I don't know. Like "Gorgeous" or "G-Force."
- I'm not really sure. - What do you think about '"Good Kisser'"?
I can't believe I missed that today. I'm sitting here eating Indian food.
Or wait No, no, '"Goddess '" Woman
- Yeah, maybe. - What about '"G-spot'"?
I got to go. Bye.
(EX CLAIMS)
- Huge line. - Yeah.
- Sorry. - That's okay.
It was a really, really long line.
You got a little something right here.
- What? - There on your chin.
Oh! Oh...
I hate when that happens.
When what happens?
Mystery smudges.
I got to go to the bathroom.
You didn't just go to the bathroom?
Are you keeping track?
That's kinda creepy.
She sounds like a nutcase!
So you're saying she's perfect for me.
Crazy women are attracted to you.
It's like you give off a scent or something.
Maybe you should just do a background check on her.
Yeah, so what do you think? Should we keep these walls brick,
- or should we make it stucco? - I don't know.
Did you kick the plug?
- I don't know. - Get under there.
- Now, let me handle this one. - All righty.
There, buddy boy. Hannah, don't do that.
Don't do what? What are you talking about?
- You mean this? - Hey.
Sexual harassment's a two-way street, okay?
Don't just think 'cause I'm a guy that you can manhandle me.
Hey.
What the hell's going on here?
- Oh, no, sorry. Her... - Steve!
Her computer had gone down. I was just down there plugging it back in.
Dude, I'm screwing with you. I'm not worried.
None taken.
- I missed you. - I missed you, too.
- Not here! - Sorry.
See, Saunders? You need to be with someone who appreciates you, you know?
- Like Steve here. - Yeah.
I'm looking for Mr. Right. Haven't found him yet, though.
Not giving up.
Steve Ballard. Nice to meet you.
- Good to see you again. - Honey, this is Matt.
You've met him, like, five times.
- Right, right. I'm sorry. - It's okay. It's okay.
I'm a very forgettable person.
When I was growing up, every morning I'd come down to breakfast,
my mom would scream, call the cops on me.
- That's a joke, right? - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. It's a good one!
You got me back. Good one.
Hey, baby, we should be going to lunch.
Hey, Saunders, that woman is trouble.
- Gotcha. - Do not call her.
(SCREAMS)
- Okay. We're done. - Come on, we just started.
That's it. No. I got a twinge.
Dude, you should definitely call her back.
- Yeah? You think I should? - Yeah.
(PANTING)
- 'Cause she's good to go, you know? - Yeah.
And you haven't "gone" in six months.
(MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING)
VAUGHN: Yes.
Plus, what's the downside?
I don't know. She seems a little...
She's neurotic. You know?
- And distant. - That's good. That's a good thing.
Neurotic and distant is a very good thing. Yeah.
Neurotic women are hellcats in bed.
(MEOWING)
Plus if she's distant, that means you're both in it for the same thing.
Coitus maximus
There's none of this, "Could she be the one?
"I'm falling hard for her" kind of crap to get in the way.
It's just pure carnal nirvana.
Yeah, I find your argument both repugnant and intriguing.
VAUGHN: That's kind of my thing.
- Hey. - Hi.
- Wow! Thank you. - You're welcome.
A rose.
You know, different color roses mean different things.
Red ones mean passion or love, so this is great.
But don't worry. I'm not saying
that I think you're telling me that you love me.
I mean, it's absurdly early for that.
But you never know. Maybe someday.
Or never. No pressure.
Let me get us a cab.
Taxi! Taxi!
(BRAKES SQUEALING)
MATT: Hey, it's stopping.
Here we go.
(COUGHING)
You okay?
Guess we got a ride.
Can we stop by the gallery? We just opened this new show.
That sounds great.
Hey, thanks for stopping. Appreciate it.
Wow.
I wonder what she's looking at.
MATT: (LAUGHING) That's got to hurt.
So, what do you think?
It's... It's interesting.
And a little disturbing.
I know.
It's surprising how frightening things attract us.
Yeah.
You know, Matt, I have to help people every day,
and nobody's ever helped me. Except you.
You're my hero.
(MOANING)
(MOANING LOUDLY)
I'm sorry. What is it?
- Tell me. - It's your tongue.
I mean, you're using it all wrong.
What are you talking about?
You're not supposed to stick it out there like a dead fish.
I mean, you're supposed to flick it a little.
I think that I was flicking it, wasn't I?
I think that I was doing that.
- No. Not enough. - Really?
Look, I'm just not used to having my tongue skills critiqued like this, okay?
Maybe not to your face.
Oh, man.
Let me help you.
Close your eyes.
Now do what I do.
(BOTH PANTING)
So, yeah, this is my place.
I redesigned the space when I bought it.
- It's nice. - Thank you.
This is the dining room.
Doesn't get a lot of use.
- Well, I could help with that. - Okay.
This is my fish. That's Biggie Smalls.
Hi, Biggie.
He's... He's never met a woman before.
(JENNY LAUGHS)
Well, he's about to get an eyeful.
JENNY: Will you show me the rest of your place?
Okay
Let me take you over to the kitchen
That's the refrigerator
I can get you a juice,
beer
I'll make you anything Yeah
Yeah
I'm not thirsty, either.
And this is the...
- Bed. - Yeah.
That's a great sweater. Wow! What a blouse.
Let me help with those buttons.
(GASPS)
- I'm sorry. I need the... - Oh, yeah.
The bathroom? It's right there.
Girls go to the bathroom a lot.
I'm ready.
Now that's what I call structural integrity.
All right.
You should have been dressed like that all night.
You look great.
Let me help you with this.
(EX CLAIMS)
(MATT CHUCKLING)
- I must be a little nervous. - It's okay.
I got a closet full of them. Let me handle this one, though.
- Let's take care of these. - Okay.
(LAMP SHATTERING)
Thanks.
MATT: Who'd have thought we'd have ended up like this...
- I know. ...after that day on the subway?
Ain't life grand?
Are you ready?
Okay.
Okay. Here we go.
(BED THUMPING)
(JENNY MOANING)
Wow.
(JENNY PANTING)
Okay. I got it.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
(WHOOPING)
God damn!
(JENNY MOANING)
Okay, now I need a break. I need a break.
(MOANING)
(YELLING)
(JENNY SCREAMS)
(PANTING)
I'm sorry.
I'll get you a new one.
A bed or a penis?
Both.
(THE JOKER PLAYING)
VAUGHN: There are three moments that I will remember
until the day I die.
One, the look on my father's face when I graduated from Harvard Law School.
Two, helping a beached mother whale give birth.
And three,
you and me together here tonight.
Don't speak to me again, ever.
(WHISTLING CHEERFULLY)
- Oh, no. - Water, please. Got a big night.
No, no, no.
Don't tell me.
You have invaded the female nation and spread your democracy.
What can I say?
I mean, she's completely different than I thought she was.
- Hot, though, right? - Unbelievably hot.
Look, I don't even know if I should tell you this part.
I don't even know if you can handle it.
I can handle it. Please.
She broke my bed.
Wow!
Busted it to pieces.
And that's a good thing, right?
- Oh, yeah. That's a good thing. - Okay.
I'm gonna see her again this afternoon.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talking about? No, no, no.
You have sex with her once, and then you move on.
No, not if you get on the greatest roller coaster of all time, you don't.
Believe me, you get right back in that line.
Okay, get back in line, ride two or three more times,
throw your hands up in the air and scream, but you know what?
Sooner or later you're gonna end up nauseous.
HANNAH: Hey, guys.
- How you doing? - How you guys doing?
- Me, good. - Careful.
- Keep that safety bar clamped down. - Okay, okay, I got it.
- I got it. - Okay, I think you are gonna like this.
I have a little present for you, Saunders.
- Anything for me there? - No. No, Vaughn.
- Hey, you have nice ears. - Thank you.
- No lobes, though. - It's an imperfection. We all got them.
Not me.
Hey, so I downloaded some Chinese phrases for you.
You know, for the presentation?
(WOMAN SPEAKING CHINESE ON IPOD)
What do you think? Thought it might help.
- That's great. - Thought it would help.
- Hey, you're the best, you know that? - I know. I am.
Well, I got to get going. I'm gonna see Jenny.
- You're seeing Jenny? - Yeah.
- Again? - Yeah.
- Things must really be going well.
- She broke his bed. - Nice. Thanks.
That was really thoughtful of you.
- I'll see you two later. - No problem.
- Take it easy. - Yeah, see you, Matt.
Look after her, okay?
- I will. - Bye.
Oh, man. He's seeing Jenny again?
Just a few more times.
(GROANS)
- Sorry. - Matt Saunders?
- Yeah, hi. - We're gonna take a ride.
Wait a second! Hey, wait a...
Hey, now, look. I don't appreciate being manhandled, okay...
What's going on?
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Mr. Saunders, thank you for your time.
Okay. Now, who are you?
- Who am I? - Yeah.
Do you watch television, Mr. Saunders? Read the papers?
Use the Internet for anything other than porn?
You're that Bedlam guy.
- Professor Bedlam. - The "supervillain."
Please, I am not "super," and I am not a "villain."
I'm just a regular man like yourself
with 10,000 times more money, intelligence and taste.
Okay, so, what do you want from me?
Are you seeing anyone, Mr. Saunders?
Are you asking me out?
Ow!
I want you to tell me everything you know
about your new girlfriend.
- Jenny? - Yes! Jenny!
Where does she like to go? What does she like to do?
What kind of music does she listen to? Is she afraid of bugs?
Is she a dog person or a cat person?
Does she wear panties or...
Okay, now, look, hold on just a goddamn...
Now, look. It's got to stop with the slapping. All right?
I just don't feel real comfortable telling you, you know,
a total stranger, someone's private, private habits, okay?
You got to understand that, right?
Of course.
(SCREAMING)
Please, someone, help!
Help! Save me! Please!
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Weasel.
Help! Yeah, yeah, you! You!
Get somebody from the Park Service!
Oh, jeez! No!
Help me! Oh, no! No!
Oh, my God!
(SCREAMING)
Help!
(MATT GASPING)
- G-Girl! G-Girl, you saved me! Thank you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hold me! Hold me!
- Don't look at me. - No, but I just wanted to...
- Don't look at me! - Okay.
Yeah, no looking. Got you. Roger.
Wow.
Looks like little Jenny's been cashing in on her superpowers.
(EX CLAIMS)
Idiot!
We don't want her to know we dropped by.
Perfect.
MATT: So, I'm falling, I mean, hurtling through the sky,
and just as I'm about to bite it, and I mean out of nowhere,
she just catches me and sets me right on the ground.
- Wow. - It was unbelievable.
The weird thing is, though,
that Bedlam guy, he kept asking me about you.
- I mean, do you know him? - No. How could I know him?
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
- So, what was she like? - G-Girl?
I don't know. I didn't really get a good look at her,
but, to tell you the truth,
she wasn't really what I expected. You know?
In what way?
- I don't know. She just seemed a little... - Brainy?
- Not really. - Exotic?
- Effervescent? - No, I kind of got this vibe
she was a little nuts, you know?
- Nuts! - Yeah.
Maybe she was a little bit preoccupied, having searched the entire city
to save you from being squished like a bug on a windshield!
You girls all really stick together, don't you? I like it.
You're like one big gang.
So, what's this?
Rule number one about crossing the street?
- Look both ways. - That's right!
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Jenny!
(ALL GASPING)
- One of you, call 911! - It's okay.
- I'm fine. Fine. That was close. - Somebody call 911!
- No, you're not fine. - I'm fine. I'm fine.
You're not fine. I mean, how can you be fine?
Look, Matt.
- I can walk. - No, don't move, don't move.
You probably have internal bleeding. You don't even know it.
- You're in shock, okay? - No, no, no, it's nothing.
- You are in shock. - Not even a scratch.
Did anyone see this? It's like a miracle!
- Truly, it's like a miracle! - It's okay.
(STAMMERING) Yeah, I mean, are you sure that you're okay?
I mean, you seem to be walking fine. I just...
Yeah.
(SIGHING)
You should know this is the first time that I've ever brought anybody here.
- Ever. - Really? Wow.
Yeah, no, it...
It seems like a really great place.
I'm still just kind of wondering
what the hell happened out there, you know?
I know.
I didn't expect to do this.
At least not yet, anyway.
But it's good.
- It's good. - Okay.
Because what we have is so very, very special.
- I trust you. - Okay.
There should be nothing hanging between us.
Especially not this, don't you think?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'll have to show you.
You look nice without your glasses.
You look good with them, too.
I'll hold them for you.
Okay.
I don't know what the explanation is, but I like it already.
Unless it's one of those Crying Game things.
It's not that, is it? I mean, I'm from Denver.
Just wait.
Oh, you got a G-Girl costume on.
That's...
Kind of went all out, didn't you?
Wow, and you even dyed your
hair.
(EXCLAIMING)
Wow.
Are you kidding me?
Oh, man.
This is incredible!
- But you can't tell anyone! - Yeah, nobody except Vaughn.
He slept with a Victoria's Secret model three years ago.
I've still never heard the end of it.
- This'll blow that out of the water. - No, no, no. Nobody.
Matt, you have to promise me you'll never ever, ever tell anyone.
Fine, you got it.
No matter what happens, you will never ever tell anyone.
Hey, I swear.
Say you'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up your ass than tell.
- Is that actually a possibility? - Say it!
I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell.
Okay.
So this Bedlam guy, he's, like, your arch nemesis or something, right?
I mean, he's been a pain in the butt
ever since we had this falling out back in high school.
You guys went to high school together?
- Wow. - Yeah.
And, by the way, his name's not really Bedlam.
- Yeah? - It's Barry.
JENNY: Barry Edward Lambert '"Bedlam, '" get it?
Back then we were both kind of outcasts
- Everybody else hated us - BOY 1: Nerd alert!
Take a look at the geeks.
BOY 2: Yeah!
So we looked out for each other
It was only natural that we spent a lot of time together
We really liked each other
It was close to the end of our junior year
when I decided it was about time
to get the whole virginity thing over with
I mean, Barry was harmless enough
I figured it might as well be him
Right?
He was having some trouble getting his pants off,
and that's when it happened
(METEOR WHISTLING)
BARRY: Jenny!
(THUDDING LOUDLY)
Come on!
BARRY: This is not how I planned this evening.
JENNY: Oh, my God! Look at that!
It's so cool.
What are you doing?
Isn't it amazing?
Don't. It could be dangerous.
(JENNY SCREAMING)
(GASPING)
(EXCLAIMING)
(EXCLAIMING NERVOUSLY)
JENNY: When I got back to school,
even with a wig,
people seemed to notice there was something different about me
Hi, girls. My glasses.
And it worked for me
Wait.
(SARCASTICALLY) Oops.
Unfortunately, Barry and I grew apart
He stopped talking to me
And then ignored me totally
Anyway, things got worse between us after we graduated.
I committed myself to being a full-time superhero,
and he fell into the evil mastermind business. Yada, yada, yada.
- That's my story. - Wow.
And, yeah, this whole time I just...
I had this weird feeling that there was just something
- a little off about you. - Really?
But this explains it. You just had a secret, that's all.
A super-secret.
Now we both do.
- May I ask you something? - What?
- I just think it... - What?
...could maybe be a fun thing to try.
It's kind of a request.
Sure.
- Be right back. - Okay.
(EXHALING DEEPLY)
Is this what you had in mind?
Oh, yeah. That's it.
Matt Saunders, you've been a very, very evil boy.
(GLASS SHATTERING)
- I think you need to be brought to justice. - Yeah.
I have been known to bend a rule here and there.
Total unrelenting justice.
(MATT WHOOPING)
Hey! Wow!
Shit!
- MATT: Don't let go, all right? - Oh, no.
Whoa! Yeah, you got me.
- You got me. - Scared you.
(MATT WHOOPING)
(JENNY YELLING)
Wow, now... Wow, we are high!
- We are really, really high! - Oh, yeah!
Jenny, you know, as fun as this is, I'm...
I'm feeling just a little bit emasculated here
with you kind of carrying me around like a toy poodle.
But don't let go. Careful.
- Where you going? Careful. Come on. - I gotcha.
- Fly right. - I gotcha.
Come on. Be careful. Whoa.
- I've always wanted to try this. - Try what?
That. Wow.
I'm not sure that's gonna work up here.
It's drafty, too.
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
What if I do this?
- Isn't this fun? - It is fun.
It puts a whole new twist on the Mile High Club.
(JENNY MOANING)
Ready?
Not ready!
MATT: (STAMMERING) No!
Just go with it!
- Yeah, but... - I know, I know! Don't stop. Yes! Oh, yes!
- Oh, God, no! - Yes!
Jenny! No!
Yeah!
Yes!
MATT: Don't ever do that again!
BARRY: G-Girl's hair before.
Watch and learn.
(EX CLAIMS)
Her body is made of the toughest substance known to man.
But I know your secret.
All right. Now,
G-Girl's hair after.
Yes! Yes!
MAN 1: Move it over a little bit!
MAN 2: Yeah, I got you, I got...
- Saunders, what's wrong? - No, I just got a splinter in my finger.
- It's no big deal. - Hey. Let me see.
I can... I can get it out. I just need...
No, no, come here. I'm good at this.
- What are you gonna do? - All right. Hold on.
Mmm.
Hey. How'd you do that?
Well, I have my ways.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
Jenny? What...
What are you doing in New Jersey?
Well, I called your office and found out where you were.
I thought I would surprise you.
- Are you surprised? - I am surprised. I wanted to... Yeah...
Hey, thanks. It's good to see you.
Let me introduce you to Hannah Lewis.
- This is Jenny Johnson. - Hi.
It's really nice to finally meet you.
Saunders here talks about you all the time.
- I do. - I feel like I already know you.
Really?
'Cause I feel like I'm just getting to know you.
Okay. Hey, got an idea.
Hannah and her boyfriend, Steve,
I was thinking maybe we all four go out this weekend. Just the two couples?
Just two happy couples? Hit the town?
- What do you say? - Great.
- Great!
Okay.
Bye.
I'm sorry, guys. I...
- I have some bad news. - You got a little something right there.
(LAUGHING) Thank you.
Steve can't make it. He had an emergency thong shoot.
A thong shoot emergency?
Yeah, well, you know, one bad wedgie can be fatal.
(LAUGHING) Yeah.
(LAUGHING POLITELY)
Where's our stupid waiter? Sir?
Wait, hold on. Something's going on.
WOMAN ON TV: The Pentagon has just confirmed that an errant test missile
is, in fact, on a direct course
for the Tri-State area
So far, all attempts to detonate or intercept the missile
have been unsuccessful
Great. Perfect.
If it strikes within the city,
the death toll could reach into the thousands
That does not sound good.
- The Mayor - Yeah, it sounds serious.
Maybe somebody should do something.
Yeah. Like the Air Force. It's their job, right?
So, Hannah, how long have you and Matty known each other?
Well, we started working together at Cockrum about three years ago, so...
We are just starting to get reports of sporadic looting
from the Bronx to Staten Island
The government has urged people not to panic
and to stay in their homes
(SIRENS WAILING)
Gnocchi. Gnocchi sounds good.
Anyone want to share a gnocchi?
I'm sorry, but what if the Air Force can't stop it before it hits?
Somebody else might need to step in.
Maybe somebody deserves one night out
without having to deal with some impending disaster.
I think someone has earned it. Don't you?
(CARS CRASHING)
(ALL GASPING)
So, Hannah, you on a diet? What are you gonna order?
I don't know. I mean, shouldn't we be leaving?
Is this safe here?
Sir! Can we get some service here?
I mean, I'm filling up on baguette.
You know, I think everybody's just kind of a little preoccupied
with everything that's happening. Maybe if someone could just, you know,
take care of the problem,
everyone could have a better night, a smoother night.
You know what I mean?
- You'd really like that, wouldn't you? - Yeah.
Yeah, I would. I'd appreciate it. In fact, I'd super-appreciate it.
Which would lead to even more injury and destruction
Some citizens are fleeing to the subway tunnels in hopes
- that it might protect them - All right. Fine!
From the probable impact
Is she okay? Where is she going?
No, she's fine. She just gets stressed, you know.
I have her looping around the block a couple times. She'll be fine.
Too late for a mass evacuation,
the situation is dangerous and potentially catastrophic
But all the citizens of New York can do is sit, wait,
and pray for a miracle
We're now getting a live picture of the missile as it approaches the city
(ALL GASPING)
It appears certain that the
Wait, what What is that?
It is G-Girl!
Oh, my goodness.
- She is approaching the errant missile - MAN: Yes!
Love that girl!
WOMAN ON TV: My God!
She just kicked it!
She just deflected the missile away from the city!
(ALL CHEERING)
We're safe! We are safe!
ALL: (CHANTING) G-Girl! G-Girl! G-Girl!
G-Girl! G-Girl! G-Girl!
You know, Matt,
there are some things I don't need infra-vision to see through.
Sorry. What are you talking about?
You and that slut from your office, Hannah.
Hey, she is not a slut. That is a terrible thing to say, Jenny.
(SCOFFS)
- You wanna screw her, don't you? - No.
No, I do not.
I don't believe you.
Can I say something?
Her boyfriend's a male model. Okay? A model.
I don't think she'd be very interested in a guy like me.
I see your point.
So, you want to screw her,
you just can't because she's got a boyfriend!
No, I'm just saying that we're friends who work together.
- We're work friends. - Don't lie to me!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
What the hell did you do that for?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll pay for that, I swear.
(STAMMERING) Okay, don't... Don't do that. Don't cry, okay?
It'll be okay.
I know I get a little crazy sometimes.
It's just...
I love you so much.
Okay. Okay.
(VAUGHN PANTING)
MATT: Hey.
(CLEARING THROAT) Hey. How's it going?
Oh, sorry.
Look at her. She's like a cheerleader from Spank Me University.
Dude, what's wrong? You look like shit.
Let's go with a lighter weight today. Shall we?
You know, I'm actually thinking
that my first impression of Jenny was accurate.
- Oh, no. - Yeah.
Complete emotional basket case.
Needy.
- Jealous. Controlling. - Jealous. Controlling.
- A trifecta. Perfect. - Yeah.
The truth is, I don't even love her.
I'm in love with somebody else.
You're in love with somebody else? Who is it?
Is it me? Oh, my God. It's me, isn't it?
I feel the same way. I totally...
That's not a good sign, is it?
Who are you talking about? Who are you in love with?
I don't want to say it, not until I've told her.
But, I mean, first I have to break it off with Jenny, you know?
And God knows how I'm gonna do that.
Okay, come with me. Listen.
There are only two ways to successfully break it off with a woman.
You can either be a jerk or a weenie.
Now the jerk route is simple.
You're like, "Hey, babe. Listen up. I'm dumping your ass."
Just like that. It's quick. It's easy. It's painless.
I don't think you have the balls for it, though.
Well, what's the weenie route?
Okay, good. Weenie route. Let's go with that.
Sit real close. Keep it romantic, okay?
Keep a kind of a sparkle in the eye. Take her hand. Give me your hand.
You say, "Sweetheart, I think we just need to take a little time off
"from the relationship to reevaluate things."
Right.
Don't return any of her calls for, like, a year and a half.
Pretty soon she'll give up, and you'll be in the clear.
I can't believe I actually listen to you.
And another thing. Make sure you do it after you've had sex with her.
It's really difficult the other way around.
I was thinking,
maybe we should take a little time
to reexamine where this is going.
Oh, my God.
Are you breaking up with me?
No.
No. Not at all.
I mean, I just...
I think it would be wise
to try and evaluate where we stand,
just to make sure we're on the same page.
So, you're not saying
that we should start seeing other people or anything?
No. No.
No, I'm not saying that.
Okay, good.
You scared me there for a second.
Although seeing other people might eventually
be a part of the evaluation process.
(CHOPPING STOPS ABRUPTLY)
Oh, my God.
You are breaking up with me.
Now, look, Jenny, it's not you, okay?
Shut up!
I know exactly what it is!
It's that slut from your office, Hannah. You're sleeping with her, aren't you?
- I am not sleeping with Hannah. - But you want to!
- Jenny, now hold on a second, okay? - Liar!
You are such a liar!
Now, look. I am not a liar, all right?
You wanna know the truth? It's not Hannah. Okay?
It's you! You're needy, you're jealous, you're manipulative.
I can't take it anymore. It's crazy!
Don't call me crazy!
(GROANS)
See? That's the kind of thing I'm talking about.
I can't handle that on a daily basis.
Well, handle this.
What are you doing?
(EXCLAIMING)
You are so gonna regret this.
Oh, man.
- VAUGHN: Or Wednesday? - No.
- Thursday? - No.
Friday? Saturday? Sunday brunch?
In the day?
Don't speak to me.
(SIGHING) Oh, well. Look at it this way. The hard part is over.
I don't know. I mean, she said I'd regret it.
Don't worry about that. They always say that.
Yeah?
I guess you're right. You know,
there's something that I've been dying to tell you ever since I found it out.
Found out what? Tell me.
Now, Vaughn, I just need you to promise me that...
- I promise that... - Hold on, Vaughn. Let me finish.
- Okay. Sorry. - This is serious.
I need you to promise me that you're not...
I promise that I won't tell anybody.
Please, tell me. Tell me, tell me, tell me.
You know Jenny?
Yeah?
She's G-Girl.
(SIGHING)
Bullshit.
Apparently, this old dog still has a few tricks left.
Oh, my God, you have been doing G-Girl!
- I know. I know. It's unbelievable. Me. - That's fantastic!
- Incredible. - I can't believe it myself.
- Knuckles. - I mean,
can you imagine the heat that I'll have with the women in this town
- when they find out... - Wait a minute.
...that I can handle her in the sack? - Whoa, whoa.
Isn't she gonna mind you revealing her secret identity?
I warned you, Matt Saunders!
No!
(SHE HATES ME PLAYING)
- I'm sorry. Excuse me. - Watch it, dumbass.
(EXCLAIMING)
Saunders, what's wrong?
What? Nothing. What could possibly be wrong?
Everything's great. Never better. I'm good.
Tell me.
Okay, I...
I broke up with Jenny.
You were right. I mean, she is totally deranged,
off-her-rocker crazy!
You know, I should have listened to you from the beginning.
I don't know what I was thinking.
How about you lay off the crazy women for a while, huh?
Come here.
I'm sorry.
Hey, Hannah?
Look, there's been something
that I've been meaning to tell you for a long time, okay?
Yes?
And it's about you and...
(SCREAMING)
- Sorry. Sorry. Are you okay? I'm sorry. - Out. Now.
I'm just going through a weird phase. I'm having intimacy issues.
- I saw that! - What? No, no, it was nothing, Carla.
- Nothing? - She's... Yeah, sorry.
You knocked her down. You hit her. What, was there groping?
- Did he grope you? - No!
No, it was an accident.
- Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. - An accident? Okay. Like a fender-bender.
- Yeah, we need to talk. - Are you okay?
Come here.
Listen, my friend, you are headed for some serious trouble.
Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
Don't make excuses. That's the first mistake.
- Okay, roger. - Look, you have got to get your mind
out of the gutter long enough to nail this Beijing presentation.
Yes. Beijing. I hear you, homegirl. I got it.
What? What did you just call me?
Huh? What? I don't know.
Look, if the company doesn't get this project, we're gonna take a major hit.
Okay.
Look, you have... You really have a problem. Call my therapist.
- Okay, I'll call him. Her. - Because you...
- Matt! - What?
Phone call.
Oh, man.
That boy has a major case of the hornies.
Yeah?
There's the young kid that zooms around in here.
Did he do something?
It's just up here.
Looks like they broke in, fried the security camera
and then blew this huge hole through the wall.
I've never seen nothing like it.
Don't make no sense, Officer.
We got a lot of nice cars in here, and this is the only one they took.
Bitch.
Somebody went to a lot of trouble.
You know who could have done this?
No. No. No, I don't.
Somebody who might have a personal grudge against you?
Grudge? Against me?
No. No, I don't. I'm sorry.
- We'll let you know if it turns up. - Okay.
OFFICER: Let's get to the paperwork.
I wouldn't hold my breath on that, sir.
Gentlemen.
(SPEAKING CHINESE)
If you look closely at our model here...
What the hell?
That's just great.
Shit.
I just got that fixed.
Sorry! Just came to use your telescope. Nice and dark, isn't it?
Wait a second. Is this all because of you?
Yep. That'd be me.
Yes.
There we go. Come and have a look-see.
I don't see any...
That's real mature.
Save you a fortune in parking.
Why are you doing this to me?
I mean, you're supposed to be the good guy.
I am the good guy. You are the bad guy.
It's been a real pleasure seeing you,
but I got a big day at the office tomorrow.
I've got an important presentation to make.
Yeah. So I really need to get some sleep.
I'm gonna have to say good night.
And, yeah, you might be the hottest girl I've ever gone out with,
but you wanna know something?
You're the craziest, hands down.
Really?
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
"Dick"?
(ALL SPEAKING CHINESE)
Will we begin soon?
Gentlemen, I'm so sorry you've been kept waiting.
I apologize. It's very rude.
Just a few more minutes, please.
Hi. Excuse me, hi.
- Hi. - Glad you could join us.
Can you tell me why you're wearing a hat?
No.
Why am I not surprised?
Hi. How are you?
We can finally begin. Gentlemen, I give you Matt Saunders.
- Are you okay? - I'm fine, I'm fine.
Okay.
Okay, gentlemen.
(SPEAKING CHINESE)
Okay. Our design integrates classic architectural ideas
from the history of Chinese culture and transforms them
into a contemporary, 21st-century aesthetic.
But you can see clearly that functionality has not been...
(MATT STAMMERING)
(CLEARS THROAT) Sacrificed.
As you can see here, by the multiple entrances
to the central multipurpose courtyard area.
Exactly. Exactly. Right.
And with a total capacity for...
You are one sick bastard.
Oh, man. I am so, so sorry.
Thanks.
(LAUGHING)
You got to laugh to keep from crying, right?
- Vaughn. - Sorry.
Man. No woman's ever done that to me, and I actually am a dick.
Okay. All done.
I am so sorry that you got fired.
What happened in there? Why did you...
That's hard to explain.
Let's just say it's a good time for me to leave.
Where are you going?
Don't know. Don't care.
Look, if there's something wrong, I'd like to help.
MAN: He's a good guy.
Look, Hannah, please,
just stay as far away from me as possible, okay?
If something were to happen to you
because of me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Damn.
Damn it! Damn!
May we come in? Nice place.
You broke her heart, didn't you?
Okay, so what do you need? Why are you here?
I'm in the middle of a project.
The same as you. To get her out of my life for good.
I want you to help me neutralize her.
Hey. Whatever she's done to me,
I'm not gonna help you kill her.
"Kill"? I didn't say "kill." I said "neutralize."
It's a neutral word. Kill is kill.
This is Switzerland.
I have developed a means of permanently stripping her of her powers.
No powers?
So she'd just be another average,
everyday, run-of-the-mill, crazy ex-girlfriend?
Yeah. It's got to be better.
So, what would you want me to do?
Draw her out into the open. Help me get her when her guard is down,
when she's vulnerable.
Look, I don't mean to offend you, but you have a reputation
for doing things that most people would consider to be...
No-noes.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. Nothing to worry about. I'm retiring.
- From supervillainy? - Yeah.
Oh, that's good. Look, if you're gonna retire,
why not just forget about her?
That's what I'm gonna do. I'm leaving town.
Because,
that woman, she just won't leave me alone!
She's obsessed with me.
She has harassed me at every turn, and she never, ever stops!
So, when you finally realize that she's not the kind of woman
who's ever just gonna forget about you,
then you give me a call.
- Okay, okay. - All right?
Or you can e-mail me at ProfessorBedlam. Com.
All one word.
I think I'll just give running away a try.
(PHONE RINGING)
It's Matt Please leave a message
Matt? It's Hannah Are you there? Please pick up
I need your help
Something really bad has happened
Oh, God I guess you're not there
Bye
Hey, Hannah! Hannah!
Hey!
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
- Who is it? - It's me, Matt. Open up.
- Hi. - Hey. Are you okay?
What'd she do to you? Is she here?
- Is who here? - G-Girl.
G-Girl? Like the superhero?
Yeah, G-Girl, the super...
So, why'd you call me?
(SIGHS)
Steve was cheating on me.
Oh, thank God!
What?
Thank... Thank God that you found out sooner rather than later.
I am sorry, though.
Yeah. I caught him in bed with another woman.
Actually, two other women.
Maybe three.
I don't know. I didn't really get a good look.
- Three? - Yeah.
Steve was so good-looking and...
He loved jazz and rock climbing, and he took me to nice places,
- and he gave me multiple... - I...
I don't really need to hear that.
The thing is,
I never really had any fun with him.
Not like I have with you.
You've been a really good friend to me, Saunders.
Hannah, the thing is,
I don't wanna be just the friend anymore.
- You don't? - No.
Look.
Hannah, my life has been really crazy lately.
But it has made me realize, you know, what's most important to me.
I mean, seeing you at work every day, that was always the thing
that I looked forward to the most.
You're the smartest, most beautiful girl that I've ever met.
And I'm completely and totally in love with you.
Oh.
(MATT SIGHING HAPPILY)
That was great. Didn't hurt at all.
You know, I probably shouldn't tell you this,
but this might be the best moment of my life.
That's not fair.
I was gonna say that.
JENNY: (ANGRILY) Hey, sweetie!
Matt?
(SCREAMS)
I hate you, Matt Saunders!
Get down!
(CAR TIRES SCREECHING)
(CRASHING)
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
MAN: Watch out!
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Why did G-Girl throw a shark at us?
I can't tell you.
And she was so pissed off. Have you done something?
- Are you in trouble? - No. Well, yeah.
And as long as I'm here, so are you.
You got to get outside the city, okay? You got to go someplace and hide.
San Diego. Tahiti. Utah. Any... No, not Utah. Utah sucks.
Anywhere else. Look, you just got to go someplace.
You got to go lay low for a while, okay?
- I don't understand. - Look.
If I ever see you again, this'll all be over. Okay?
"Lf"?
Matt, wait!
It's you.
Come in. Wait here.
- Right here? - What?
- Where? - Right here.
Okay.
Over there.
Wow.
(GROANS)
Okay, look.
I'm here 'cause I need your help, okay?
I just need to know how we're gonna stop her.
I have spent the past 10 years trying to analyze the source
- of G-Girl's power. - Yeah?
It is a unique type of radiation that permeates every cell of her body.
Yeah, no, I know about the meteor in high school. She told me. I know.
- She told you that? - Yeah.
She talk about me?
I mean, she said you guys were friends. You had a falling out.
Bullshit!
That meteorite changed everything between us.
But now I've got something that will totally level the playing field.
That?
The rock?
No, the ham. Yes, the rock.
A special rock.
It was a rock that gave off the radiation.
I now have a rock that will absorb the radiation.
Absorb it? So you mean if you got Jenny close enough to this thing that...
It'll draw the radiation from her body, sucking it out of her like a sponge,
draining her of her powers permanently.
Okay, so what do you need me for?
Why can't you just get her close to it?
With that super-hearing of hers?
No. I need someone who can lure her to it.
Someone who she has no cause to fear.
A weak and powerless simpleton.
An idiot.
JENNY: No, all of these invoices were returned. None of them have been paid.
No, I know. You have to call back.
Okay.
And these two are supposed to go to the...
What?
Hi.
What's this?
Well, it's just a little something I thought I'd bring by.
- Just some... - Flowers?
Yeah.
You think flowers are gonna make me forgive you?
No. No, I do not think that. I don't think that at all.
Then what the hell are you doing here?
Okay, look.
To be honest, I realize that I've made
the biggest mistake of my life, okay?
I'm desperately in love with you.
And I'd do anything for us to be together again.
I would.
Oh, God.
These are beautiful.
- I'm sorry. - It's okay.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
What do you think about,
today after work, you come by my place around 7:00,
and I'll make us a nice dinner?
- 7:00? - Yeah.
I'd love to.
Matt?
Oh, my God.
Hey, Jenny. Yeah.
Matt, it's beautiful.
What is that?
- Is that for me? - It is, it is.
It's a little something that I got you,
'cause, well, I want to apologize for the, you know,
the terrible way that I've treated you. It just wasn't right.
You're so sweet. You didn't have to.
It's true. I'm sorry.
- What is it? - Hey, no peeking, okay?
I want it to be a surprise.
- Okay. - Let's have a toast.
You are amazing.
MATT: To second chances
To second chances
Okay
(GLASSES CLINKING)
The man's not bad. He might have a future in our business.
Yeah.
You know, deep down,
I had a feeling that you'd realize your mistake and come back to me.
You are wise.
(LAUGHS)
Do you want to know a secret?
Sure.
That's why I didn't kill you.
(LAUGHS)
MATT: Yes...
Matt?
You are the sweetest guy I've ever met.
Oh, no, no, I'm not.
Yes! Yes, you are. You're sweet...
MATT: Thank you.
: : : yummy:
Matt?
Hannah? What are you doing here?
Me? What are you doing here?
You said your life was in danger And what's she doing here?
- Who's that? Do we know her? - I don't know her.
I can explain everything, okay? Just give me a chance
I don't know her!
You know how you tried to steal my boyfriend
by being such a big, fat whore?
- It didn't work. - Okay, Jenny, stop.
Let me handle this, okay?
- Are you back together with her? - No! No, I'm...
- What? - Well, yeah, yeah.
Look, it's very complicated. Okay?
How could you do this?
You told me you loved me.
Hannah, please, just do me a favor, okay, and just leave, okay?
Yeah. I mean, just try to have a little self-respect.
I mean, you're starting to look pathetic.
Matt! You are not...
Oh, my God. There you are. Thank God.
- I've been calling you all day, dude. - That's perfect.
Playoff tickets! Amazing seats!
- You and me, tonight, third base line. - Not now.
Look, now is a terrible time, okay?
- Hey, what's in the box? - Stay away from that box, Vaughn.
You know, Hannah,
why don't you just run along before I have to kick your ass
back to Munchkin Land?
Okay? Just stay away from it.
Okay, okay. It looks big. It might be a nice present.
Are you threatening me?
Push me one more time, sister, and you'll find out.
Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do?
Squash me with your gigantic feet?
That's it!
Don't touch me!
Just do me a favor and leave and take Hannah with you.
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.
You're G-Girl!
You have been doing G-Girl?
Vaughn, open the box!
- Go, go! Watch the van! - Okay, okay.
Open the damn box!
(GROANS)
It's not much of a present.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
(GROANING)
You bastard!
Matt, that's a weird rock, dude.
A happy ending for everybody. Well done, Mr. Saunders.
You did this? You helped him?
I'm really sorry.
You did throw a shark at me, you know?
Besides, Bedlam's gonna retire.
It'll be okay.
You idiot!
Looks like you're done, honey.
You always thought you were so much better than me.
Now it's my turn.
Now I'll be the one with the powers!
And you'll just be plain old Jenny Johnson.
I'm having a moment here.
(MATT GRUNTING)
Not so tough, now, huh?
MATT: Hannah, don't let her touch the rock!
Hannah.
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Oh, no. Hannah!
I can't even see her. We gotta get down there.
Oh, man.
MATT: Oh, no.
I think she's dead, Matt.
I'm sorry, man. Let her go.
What are you... We gotta dig her out!
We gotta start the grieving process.
Are you crazy?
Come here. Give me a hug, bear cub.
JENNY: You!
I thought you were just a jerk! Now I find out you're really stupid!
Teaming up with Barry?
Oh, God damn!
(EXCLAIMING)
You broke my heart.
And now I'm gonna break your everything.
Hey!
Let go of my boyfriend, you crazy bitch!
Bring it!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Oh, man!
Yes! Girl fight!
(CAR ALARM BEEPING)
Stupid bitch!
Matt? Matt!
No.
(PANTING)
Hannah!
Hannah, are you...
Oh, no!
(GRUNTING)
You rat.
Matt!
Matt! Matt. Are you okay?
Wow!
Hannah, stop! Come on! Stop!
- Hey, you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
I'm fine, too. I thought I twinged my knee, but I'm all right.
- Good. - Come on, forget about them. Let's go.
Come on!
Matt, they're gonna kill each other!
No, this way.
Hey, it's you.
Are you with them?
As a matter of fact, I am.
They went down there.
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Oh, my God!
(ALL CHATTERING ANXIOUSLY)
(GRUNTING)
MATT: Hey,
stop!
Look at yourself! Come on, you're terrifying these people.
Okay. Jenny, this has gotta stop right now, okay?
Please, just...
Just, just... Just give me that, okay? Here you go. Just give it to me, okay?
That was a lot heavier than I thought.
Hi.
Look. God knows
I don't want you mad at me. Okay?
And I'm sorry if I ever hurt you.
And, yeah, you know, I know what we had was something special.
And at times it was great, but it wasn't love.
All right? And deep down, you know that. You know,
and you're a great girl.
And you deserve to be with the perfect guy.
- You do. - I do.
And I know who the perfect guy for you is.
And he's here, right here, right now.
Professor?
(ALL GASPING)
What?
Barry?
Go on, Professor, tell her.
- Tell her what? - Listen.
That she's my mortal enemy? That I want nothing but her destruction?
Come on, Barry. Please.
Please stop calling me Barry.
Look, it's true.
This guy, he's got a shrine to you in his house.
There are pictures of you all over the walls, just of you.
And I... I mean, this guy, he is hooked on you. He really is.
Is that true?
(ALL CHATTERING CURIOUSLY)
Come on. You got to open your heart to her.
It's now or never.
It may be a little true.
Okay. Okay. It's a good start.
Come on, Barry. Barry, come on.
All right, all right!
It's completely true.
I love you.
I've always loved you.
But if you love me so much, then how come you're always trying to hurt me?
Because you hurt me.
Because you broke my heart into a billion pieces.
You ignored me.
You left me behind.
So, I thought if I had the powers,
you may learn to love me
the way I have always loved you.
Are you sure?
Do you really love me?
Oh, yeah.
It's over. Can you believe it? I'm free.
- You were great. - I can't believe that fight.
- I know. - I still think
she could kick my butt, but I got a few good punches in there.
No, what, are you kidding? You saved my ass in there.
You were wonderful.
And, hey, I'm really sorry I didn't explain things to you sooner,
but I was just trying to protect you, that's all.
I totally understand. I get it.
I was. Good.
Oh, my God. My hair!
Oh, it doesn't look that bad. You can fix it.
Here, try this on.
Thanks.
(EX CLAIMS IN DISGUST)
See? Adorable.
- Yes, you are. - No, not me.
Come here.
Tight, tight.
- I'm so sorry. - Yeah. It's okay. It's okay.
I'm just... I'm still getting used to all of this.
I know. You and me both.
And you know, we're gonna have to talk about the relationship, too.
Talk? You mean...
Your powers.
Just 'cause you have them, doesn't mean you have to use them.
You know what I mean?
You're a little scared of me.
What, scared? No, come on, I'm not scared at all.
Come here.
(LAUGHS)
Are you ready?
Yeah. I am. I'm ready.
Okay, here we go.
Okay. All right, I got it.
Hold on. I think I tweaked something.
You poor baby.
What the hell were you doing?
Sorry. Sorry.
It's great.
Looks beat up.
I brought it down for you. Peace offering.
Yeah, yeah. You've done so much for us.
We couldn't be happier.
I mean, what... How did...
Asteroids.
Most of that'll just buff right out.
I'll fix that.
Look, I could trick it right out for you if you want, you know.
Rocket launchers, laser cannons, voice-activated battle armor?
(POLICE RADIO CHATTERING)
- Do you hear something? - No.
There's a 747 in trouble.
It's a 727. Time to go to work.
You need a hand?
A hand?
Yeah. Any help?
I never had any help.
Could be some heavy lifting.
- Yeah? - Okay.
Yeah? Really?
- Yes. - Yes! All right!
(WHOOPING)
Okay. Ready!
Here I go! Okay.
- Love you, honey! - We'll be waiting!
What the hell are we gonna do with this stuff?
Want to get a beer?
- Sure. - Let's do it.
(EX CLAIMS)
- Hey! - Hannah!
Whoa!
(SCREAMING)
My God. You really do have superpowers.
Yeah. Well,
it helps when you haven't used them in two years, three months,
one week and four days.
Okay. No, okay.
I got one more in me. Here we go.
{{{the end}}}